Dom Robinson reviews

Cat.no: MDV 308

Cert: 18

Running time: 50 minutes

Year: 1999

Pressing: 1999

Region(s): 2 (UK PAL)

Chapters: 14 plus extras

Sound: Stereo

Languages: English

Subtitles: None

Fullscreen: 4:3

16:9-enhanced: No

Macrovision: No

Disc Format: DVD 5

Price: £15.99

Extras : Scene index

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Director:

John Mearman

Photographer:

Jeff Kaine

Narration:

Tony Hawkins

Music:

ID

Jordan, real name Katie Price, is a 20-year-old Page 3 model who has risen to fame over the past couple of years by taking her top off for 'glamour' modelling on a regular basis and for being romantically linked with footballer Teddy Sheringham and Gladiators' Ace. More recently she hit the headlines for having a boob job, inflating her originally-36" chest out of all proportion. Thankfully, this video was made before that moment.

On this "Playboy UK Celebrity Special", Jordan reveals her greatest sexual desires, or at least apparently does so. Call me cynical, but it's a bit unbelievable the nonsense she comes out about always wanting to be in control, dominating men by always going on top and her great interest in all the sexual positions under the sun, making it sounding like she's always after a bit of the old one-two-buckle-my-shoe with anyone who'll oblige, not to mention frequent viewing of porno videos. She also states how she hasn't been out with Teddy Sheringham, but she'd love to have wild sex with him. It's not known whether he'd like to take her up the Arsenal...

For the photo shoots, she recreates the famous 'revealing bum cheek' poster in Anyone for Tennis ?, dresses up to tease in Liquid Latex, gets the soap suds going in All in a Lather and poses atop a De Lorean in Back to the Future, the interview shots coming inbetween with occasional commentary from Tony Hawkins, whose cheesy ramblings sound like the script was written by a man three times Jordan's age.

Anyone For Tennis ?

The picture quality leaves something to be desired. Artifacts are obviously present during some of the darker colours onscreen. Alas, this happens quite often when Jordan is onscreen as the colour of her tan is about as dark as it gets, although it tends to happen more during the interview or any video footage presented in a straight-forward fashion, as opposed to the 'arty' sections which fare much better.

The film is presented in fullscreen 4:3 as originally shot and the average bitrate is 6.6Mb/s, regularly peaking just over 8Mb/s.

The sound quality does its job but the music is very predictable and as cheesy as the commentary. There's no Dolby Digital logo on the cover, so I presume it's Linear PCM Stereo as with most of the BMG DVD releases.

Extras :

Chapters :

Languages & Subtitles :

The film is in English only, with no subtitles. This seems to be the case for all of the current batch of BMG releases.

Menu :

The menu has all of two options: Scene selection or start the programme rolling. For some reason, the menu is a little slow to respond after making any selection.

Noel Edmonds went too far with his TV series,
"The World of the Secret Camera".

If you're a regular purchaser of Playboy videos and own a DVD player then this release will fare better than the video, also released at the same time, as the DVD only costs a pound more but allows you to skip to the different sections, freeze-frame and (ahem) rewind the best bits...

If you're looking for something to show off you're system, though, then this won't be it as it doesn't offer anything in the way of extras.